Did anyone tell you that you should work on your shadow self? But then they didn't tell you how to do it? And they didn't even tell you what shadow self is actually? Then this blog post is for you.
What is Shadow Self?
Shadow self is the neglected part of your self. Just like a shadow, it is there but you wouldn't want to admit you have it. It usually is in the unconscious mind and you really have to make a lot of effort to get to know it.
Here is an example of the shadow self:
If you get jealous everytime your girlfriend talks to a boy, even if she's at a distance talking very normally but you try to push your jealousy aside because you want to be the perfect boyfriend who doesn't restrict his girlfriend, that jealous part of yourself is shadow self. It is not bad to have a shadow self. But maybe in the past you had a girlfriend and she left you for some other guy and now you are insecure but you don't want to admit it.
Here, I am not blaming you. Shadow self usually forms from past experiences mostly with your parents, and usually, we tend to hide it deep inside, so much so that even we don't get in touch with it let alone others.
Another example of this is, you feel no one is out there to help you out and everyone just seeks their own motives. What if you've been acting that way the whole time? You are probably cringing because who'd like to accept that right?
Instead of giving you more examples, I would like to give you some journal prompts that can kick start your shadow-self journey without anyone else pointing it out for you.
Journal Prompts for Shadow Self
In what ways am I harsh to myself?
What are the things that I am attached to which I know are unhealthy/toxic for me?
Why is it difficult for me to get rid of these toxic attachments?
What emotions do I feel comfortable with- positive/negative? Why?
Who am I holding a grudge against? Who have I not forgiven yet? Why am I holding onto this?
How can I let go of this grudge?
What is something I should forgive myself for?
What are the things/features about myself that I don't like or feel insecure about? Why?
What traits of others annoy me the most? Why? Do I have those traits?
What are my deepest secrets?
What parts of myself do I repress/deny?
What do I envy? Why?
Reminder: Be very honest while answering these questions. Your brain might make you feel sleepy or tell you that you have better things to do because it is just trying to protect you from tapping into your fears. This journey can be pretty emotional. Embrace it, you'll only come out of stronger every time. Also, this is not a one-time thing so don't think that you'll be done with it once and for all.
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